A Picture Says a Thousand Words

2011-03-09T21:30:00.002+08:00

Even though i smile and look happy on the outside
From day to day, deep inside i feel empty
I do not know what is missing in my life ?
Coze all i feel is the emptiness within

My loneliness consumes me from the inside
My emptiness doesnt seem to ever be filled up
I go by day to day just wishing it will come to an end
And that 2mrw will be better but it only gets worst

I dont have anyone i could turn to
Neither do i have any one to speak to openly
And even if i do, i do not wish to burden their
Already hard lives with mine

I just wish one day i can find some happiness
That isint just temporary but forever
But i know my wishes will never be fullfilled
As my life was never filled with anything that i ever wished for

2011-02-28T12:03:00.002+08:00

My day just suddenly took a turn for the worst...
But wats new right ??
My life has never been filled with happiness
Only bad things happening for the worst..

I dont really care wat happens anymore
Let it be then even if i die or something bad happens to me
It wouldnt matter coze no one would care or give a damn
I give up in trying to be gd and trying to change

This is the end.
This is where it stops..

2011-02-28T10:54:00.004+08:00

Knowing that they are talking behind your back
And nothing they say is gd and they are just
Out to embarrass you openly and
Theres nothing you can do to stop them

It hurts deep down and you keep it to yourself
And at the end of the day your kinda glad
That your all alone and that you keep
Telling yourself that you dont have to depend on anyone

But it also makes you feel lonely to a point that
You kinda wish some one will help you
And not expect anything in return
But thats just impossible

I have come to realise that my happiness can
Never be found in my everyday life
Maybe in the afterlife ?
I will never know

2011-02-01T02:45:00.002+08:00

Days turns to weeks then months.
With each passing day it feels worst
This lonely feeling of when i look ard me
And find that im all alone with no one

To talk to, to share my thoughts and feelings with
Its becoming more and more painful
A smile from my face now brings so much pain
Inside of me that it cuts me up badly

I feel that i should what i did in the past again
But i still havent had the guts to do it yet.
I feel so pathetic and lonely
I hope i will cough my self to death coze thats

How my life has been coughing none stop
I really hope this will happen coze only then
Would my life somewhat be complete..

2011-01-14T00:50:00.003+08:00

Hey guess what its the middle of the month
And yes you guessed it life has not change
No matter how i try to change what i do
It always end up like this

I guess i shouldnt be bothered anymore
Come what may it will still be pain
Nothing can numb this feeling or make it feel better
Im closing up again and i dont think id ever

Be able to open up ever again
Everytime it hurts more & more and there seem
To have no end to it...
I cant bare it any longer

I wish some kinda sickness would befall me
And kill me soon before i actually think of
Doing it myself..
I dont have anything to lose and everyone has

Something to gain from it directly or indirectly
Im such a failure and i dont think life is worth it anymore

2010-12-16T22:03:00.003+08:00

Isit just me or is the middle of every month the worst for me
It doesnt help that things will keep getting worst and worst
Its the end of the year when all the festive season are
But there hasnt been anything for me to celebrate lately

Ive been unable to sleep lately
Everynight i will stay awake in bed wondering
Why am i still here why im still alive whats the point of it
Theres no happiness and joy in it

Its just filled with sadness failure n misery
Everday im being hated more and more
And each grueling day it gets more and more lonely
I dont know whats my life turning into

Theres no one i can turn to to talk
About how i feel openly
Theres always a chance that they will shun me
Theres always a chance that they cant accept whi really am

I cant help but to think abt ending all this
Ending something that matters so much
To someone but sooo little to me..
Life has no meaning to me

2010-12-15T04:21:00.002+08:00

Am dissapointed today its been such a crappy day
Bad climbing day everything feels so hard today
Every move feels like im forcing it
There was no strength no flow in what i was doing

It was all such a waste i hope this thursday
Wont be the same as today...
Anyway i cant sleep now makes me feel even more like crap
After i found out about something

Reminds me of why i should never ever open up
Im thankful i havent but this feeling right now
Sucks and weirdly it hurts
I thought i was numb by now

But i guess feelings, pain and emotion are here to stay
Dissapointment lingers over me i wonder if i will get over
This gut wrenching feeling anytime soon
Guess hope still surprises and overwhelms me yet again

I knew happiness and joy would never last for me
But i still fell for the same trap over and over again
When will this vicious cycle end ?
Id say if only god know but i stopped believing already

My life is still a wreck and it wont be changing anytime soon
Ah great its already 4:35am i got 20 mins more to sleep
Great way to start your day asshole...

2010-11-14T02:53:00.003+08:00

The one thing i really want in my life right now
And theres no one who supports or encourages me
The whole family is against it and im constantly
Held back constantly by their negative wishes and comments

I still hang on and wanna do it all the way to the end
Im already half way there and im not gonna give in
I cant afford to give in cause they wont know how badly i want this
They wont understand how much i need this

They never wanna see it from my point of view
But it all doesnt matter im used to depending on myself
I never had any help before so this is no different
From any other situation ive been in..

2010-10-17T14:10:00.003+08:00

Its been weeks, been trying my best i say
In the longest time to try to be happy
And optimistic.
It was okay at first

But now im slowly dying inside again
Its so short lived, i wonder if i will really be happy
Wish someone would help me
But thats just impossible..

The day i dread the most is 9 days away
And i forsee how its gonna be
And its nothing new really..
I see how its gonna go and

my only hope of anything
Different happening this year
Just went out the window
Haiz i guess life really is meaningless

Wondering why i am still alive and suffering

2010-10-07T00:37:00.002+08:00

19 more days till the that i dread most comes
They day that could have change alot for me
The day that could have change alot of peoples life
The day that i wish i wasnt born...

As the days go by lately, i feel more lonelier
And lonelier..i was wondering what i should do
On that day? Wanted to ask someone out but who ?
And who would go out with me ?

No one remembers that day not even my own mother..
So i guess its just like how i spend it the past few years
Should i get something for myself again ?
Its not like it will matter in the first place...

Im crying myself to sleep tonite coze i cant help it anymore
I cant hold it in anymore...
All the failures, loneliness and misery
I wish there was someone i could talk to
And let it all out without fear of them doing what others do
But thats just wishful thinking...
Am tempted to do "it" again
I feel that that's all i got
Thats the only way i can channel all thats
Bottled up inside....

2010-07-22T00:09:00.002+08:00

Honestly this week has been one of the hard weeks
And it seems like its not gonna end,
It gets harder and harder each time
Maybe they are right that i looked so bottled up

Theres a reason why i do it
Coze ever since that one time i told
People how i really felt like life
Has really took a change for probably
The worst...

Till today they still tell others about
What i said back then and they laugh
At the thought of it and deep inside it
I regret that decision but i just laugh

I smile to them trying to fake what
Really lies beneath me...
I will never open up again
Coze they wont understand how i feel

They just wont…

2010-07-19T18:41:00.002+08:00

A friend once said that i had to make myself happy
Before i can make others happy.
But til today trying to make yourself happy
Has eaten and taken alot more out of you

So how do you make yourself happy ?
When all you feel is dissapointment and sadness?
Haiz… fuck yourself izzat really…

2010-06-25T01:37:00.003+08:00

people have never knew whatever happened..
and so will you coze its not important and you wouldnt care anyway.
looking back, no one ever did and no one was really there till today.
so im not expecting anything anymore not that i ever did in the
first place.

how pathetic of you eeezart...

2010-06-14T13:19:00.001+08:00

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

2010-06-13T01:30:00.002+08:00

what happens when i look around me.
i see nothing, no one,
everyday i wake up asking myself whats the point ?
why am i still alive ?

whats the meaning in my life ??
who would care ?who would be there ?
and i know the answer too well.

you begin to wonder if life is worth living anymore.
you use your hand as your sketch pad
you write and draw on it.
and you continue to wish that some where out there

it will be all worth it...
and until then your stuck in life all alone...

2010-05-09T01:01:00.004+08:00

you cant feel hurt if u dont have a heart to begin with.
and when you dont have a heart theres no way you can feel love.and without love,
well i leave it to you to answer that..

2010-03-04T01:12:00.003+08:00

honestly im not happy anymore.
im sick of holding all this emotions in anymore.
im sick of just pretending im okay coze im not.
but i just cant help it. even if i cant pretend ill just walk away

i dont have anything to look forward to.
im turning into the me that i once was.
it seems im back at square one.
so how am i gonna get over this nonsense this time ??

2009-10-24T01:46:00.003+08:00

okay its been so long. Emt course has been rather stressful.
I must say the test seem none stop and in the mids of this chaos
of having test and practicals we were expected to learn about
drugs... hmm too much to squeeze into my tiny brain...

anyway had IV today and we finally moved on to an 18G needle.
18G meaning one - eighteen of a centimetre. okay go figure how big
or small the needle is. Bear in mind its going to be poking through
your arm. thankfully ive got the hang of it already. *crosses fingers

anyway cant wait for next week, gonna have our once in a lifetime experience.
of being in a room filled with tear gas and us grown man crying from it.
Go figure :) and exciting week ahead that i just cant wait.
alright then till next time..

2009-10-11T20:46:00.002+08:00

argh..its been so long..
yet theres been nothing intresting lately..
erm unless ur idea of IV or intravenous.
meaning poking each other with needle is a good idea then

being a medic is for ya...hahaha...
orite2 ill do a proper update as soon as i feel like it..
till then people...

2009-09-19T22:55:00.002+08:00

lets make this short and sweet..

ku ingin susun 10 jari ku yang dah tak cute ni,

dan memohon maaf jikalau terkasar bahasa,

tersilap kata, tersepak dengan tak sengaja.

sekian selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin...

2009-09-16T22:03:00.001+08:00

okay i was bored and decided to take
a personality test, so this is what the result was...
its almost as close as u get to my personality..almost there..

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2009-09-15T10:28:00.002+08:00

okay im still abit lazy to update.
anyway just a quick one.
pop was erm..tiring and i swear i must have injured
some part of my body man somewhere..

and i might wanna see a doctor for that..
anyway didnt take much photos.
but the memories, not so sweet ones ah,
are etched in my head.

anyway just came back from kl yesterday night
great but short trip. will go there again next time.
maybe not during fasting month..
omg all the food... *faints

anyway didnt buy anything there...like seriously.
nothing much to buy. or at least the places i went to at least.
but enjoyed the company there.
thx people, you know who you are..

till next time.. :)

2009-09-04T23:48:00.001+08:00

okay a quick one before a full update..
got to book out early today...hehehe
whole company booking out 2mrw..suckers !! hahaha
thank god for getting gold for ippt...

anyway am damn sad to the max..
got company third best and platoon second best
coze the sucker beat me by average score of 0.03%
WTF !!!! like seriously.. and everyones kinda rubbing it in..

even the ass hole himself..arghhh..im pissed just talking bout it..
okay chill chill..
erm update more in future...
meeting love 2mrw..cant wait.. (((((((((((((((=

2009-08-29T00:40:00.002+08:00

its already the last week till my last book out
and then pop.. yet i feel so unmotivated.
tired, restless and moody as hell..
was really looking forward to this book out..

like really really looking forward..
but am dissapointed now.
personal morale is at its all time low.
i dont know how im gonna cope with next week.

honestly sometimes i just wanna give up.
but a part of me say dont coze for the sake of my weekend.
but whats the point, when things are this dissapointing.
makes me feel like i might as well just sign

remedial training or confinement..book out sunday morning,
book in sunday night..just to wash clothes at home...
it seems like a good idea. to a certain extend.
i really need something to cheer me up badly right now.....

2009-08-23T10:40:00.003+08:00

finally i got my lazy ass to update things.
alot of things happen since the last update,
too many things, and its 3 more weeks to POP
cant wait for the POP part but dread the

24km route march right before the POP
going for my 16km 2mrw after i book in tonight.
somehow the weekends feels shorter then the weekdays.
so we are down to the last few trainings of

AGR - agility group runs ( you run till they tell you to stop XD )
and BCCT - basic close combat training ( punch and kicks in the air like there is no 2mrw)
and lots and lots of route march
the only other thing on every recruits mind right now is.

OC night and Rec night. where we get to enjoy
and look ad girls from the military dance and something something..hahaha
eh no everyday got people dance for you okay ?
anyway its the start of the fasting month

and i regret to say this but i fore see days that i wont fast.
dang !! aites till next time then...

2009-07-28T09:35:00.001+08:00

out after 2 weeks. feels great.
alot of changes in my life
met new people in camp.
kinda like the life in there 50 / 50 ah..

the food oni bad..hahaha..
and some other stuff.
might sign on as adf.
dont know yet.

and yeah finally im attach to her.
about time too.
i hope i dont screw up man.
although something at the back of my mind thinks i will

okay thats all for this quick update..
till i book out again this friday.

3 more days yow....

2009-07-13T07:43:00.002+08:00

So much to say yet so little time
anyway booking in 2day for ns
will be out in 2 weeks
hmm..although certain things are still

un-achieved till now im quite sure
i will be able to do it in time to come
anyway thats all for now.
thx for all the well wishes people.

cya all in 2 weeks time...

2009-07-01T11:59:00.002+08:00

okay 12 more days exactly..
still dont understand why some of people are so
optimistic about having to want to meet all those who are
going in for ns..

thou most of the time i fore see that it will not happen.
hmm, janji melayu lah katekan.
anyway im done with the ipoh trip pictures.
sent it in already and waiting for my pay which comes in today.

tormenting man looking at the pictures.
had to select out of a thousand over pictures
and only pic abot 500 - 600...*faints.
but the best part is i get to see my eye candy's picture..heeeee

cant wait to buy a new game...hehee
and saw a picture i took on berita harian.
only problem was it was credited to persisi.
oh well will take life with a pinch of salt and alot more sugar..

orites till next time then..

p.s gonna try send a 7a high wall route before i go in..
dang so near yet so far

2009-06-27T12:32:00.002+08:00

okay time for a quick update.
just came back from my job at ipoh.
no your wondering what was i doing there ?
well i was the designated photographer

for Singapore Poly (SP) , Leaders of Tomorrow Camp (LTC) .
at least thats what i saw on their shirt.
dont know if its correct or not. hehee
was working under the company pac west.

anyway the trip was work for me nonetheless
i had to take picture for their white water rafting journey.
and their adventures throughout the duration of the camp.
it was pretty interesting the way the camp was organised.

most of the time the one and only instructor had alot of time to just see
what they were doing coze the lecturers had their own
program after the main activities.
and it was different as the participants had to think.

throughout the activities, looking at the different aspects
of the challenges given to them.
but i must say the main activites were as interesting as well
the did water abseiling, white water rafting and last but no least.

Caving which they had to get wet.
anyway on the 2nd last night after booking in
at the hotel in ipoh town, everyone was given a time of.
for all their hard work.

and since there was a nearby shopping centre which had a
movie theater / cinema, what other movies can we watch other then.....
TRANSFORMERS 2
it was one heck of a movie so much action with a pinch of humour..

anyway those of you who havent watch it what the hell are you
sitting down for. go watch the movie lah.....
hahahaa... anyway it was fun trip nonetheless.
i kinda miss those people already..hehehe

anyway will be out today and be quite busy this weekend..
till next time..

eye candy oh eye candy i wonder if i will ever see ya again..hehe

2009-06-01T23:34:00.002+08:00

Okay back for some quick update,
lifes been quite mundane i must say.
imagine sleeping at 3 or 4 in the morning,
and waking up at 12 or 1 at noon.

Man my body clock is spoiled.
anyway been training hard at asia recently.
i wanna win rockmaster so bad right now.
but looking around at my competitors.

it seems like a distant goal and with each,
passing day the number of competitors
keep increasing and they are getting stronger.
hmm this is gonna be hard.

i need to get inspired man..
maybe ill try looking around for climbing videos.
hopefully they will boost my motivation and morale up.
RAHH!!! i want this shit so bad for the first time in my life.

anyway other then climbing i seriously think
i should start running like ASAP !!
BMT is like 1 and a half month away
and i need to train ahh..

frustrating man and time is like flying sooo fast.
i need a chill pill soon..pronto !!!
anyway thats all for now till next time.. (=

2009-05-23T02:19:00.002+08:00

okay a quick update.
been MIA for a long time.
too long or it depends on how you look at it.
anyway been quite busy with a lot of stuff lately.

Pumpfest, work, and best of all.
my new baby at home..my xbox 360.
in another way a good idea to keep me home.
other then going out to train.

pumpfest was in a way abit of a disappointment,
from the organisers part.
thou i know they did their best.
and i did my part to help my friends who were,

involve in organising that comp.
a lot needs to be worked on.
but the routes were great nonetheless.
thou slightly sadden by my actions on the last route.

manage to onsight 2 route or 3 if it hadnt been for,
my mistake on the last route.
but in the end tied for 10th with my friend.
my closest competitor for the next comp.

now rock master is the last comp for me this year probably
and its a must win competition coze its the only comp,
with a cash money prize. woohoo..
$100 ? $200 ? $300 ?

i dont know but i know that i wanna win that comp badly.
for pride and the prize also..hehe..
no no im not money minded just wanna win and prove myself
for the next comp badly finals is a must at least.

arghhh..orites till the next update...

2009-04-27T00:41:00.003+08:00

since the beginning of this year,
theres been so many changes in my life.
the challenges ive faced
has finally broken me down.

i am not who i use to be anymore.
i will never be that person anymore.
i am no longer able to smile and be happy anymore.
im finally giving up on things.

every single thing in my life.
i know i can no longer motivate myself.
i know that i have lost my self-esteem that i used to have.
i can no longer lie to myself that everything will be fine or alright.

my world since the beginning of this year is collapsing around me.
no matter how hard i try to hold it up.
its crumbling and finally there is nothing left.
i really dont know what to do anymore.

i will never be able to be happy anymore.
and this time nothing can bring it back.
i just hope that i can go into ns faster.
coze only then will all this things not matter.

until then dont expect me to put up a smile anymore.

2009-04-21T12:26:00.002+08:00

k finally back from ipoh.
okay okay kinda trip.
finished one 30m plus 6b+ grad route.
at tambun and a few others ah..no 7's though.

night activity with some of the climbers were okay.
played bowling then chilled at starbucks.
played jenga till they closed..
it was an okay okay day.

on the last day we headed to camp 5
at one utama KL.
sent 2 6c+ there and 1 6b.
ended up too tired from the previous day.

to sent another 6c.
anyway when i get back to singapore.
things were back to where i left them.
first thing i hear when i got back some bad news.

oh well kinda expected it.
kinda question my trust on people.
You know who u are.
now you might know why i dont tell u things.

just when i though i could get u
to hold ur words the first thing you do is.
break my trust so dont expect me to tell you
anything anymore.

you know who you are....
okay till next time.
enjoy school you school kids..heh

2009-04-17T09:55:00.003+08:00

will be away for sometime.
time to get myself together..

dont go back on your words.
coze your actions contradicts what you said.

2009-04-14T01:23:00.002+08:00

there are just so many things i wanna say to you.
but somehow i cant piece it all together.
neither can i piece myself together.
im starting to fill myself up with to much

hatred, sadness and disappointment.
i need to let go of all this angst.
if only it was easier said then done.
i wished u would make me happy again..

2009-04-13T03:20:00.000+08:00

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
It's drowning into whispers
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
No matter what I do
I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever
I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up
cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

(Ahahaha)
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
(Oooh)
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
(Ohohh)
I wish I could save you (ohh)

2009-04-02T03:07:00.002+08:00

bisikku kepada bulan,
kembalikan temanku, kekasihku, syurgaku,
tanpa dia, malam menemaniku,
sepi memelukku,
bulan, jangan biar siang,
biar alam menjadi kelam,
biar ia sepi sepertiku.

2009-03-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

i know its not easy izzat.
but just try izzat.
just smile no matter how hard it seems.
just smile..for the sake of people around u..

haiz...

2009-03-27T00:14:00.000+08:00

finally got on to changing myblog skin.
today was tiring at work..
anyway last night went out eating.
with some of the ncc peeps..

anyway finally lost myself.
couldnt help but tell her how i felt.
it wasnt perfect what i wanted to say.
it wasnt wat i pictured myself telling her..

am still awaiting what she has to say.
am anxious..
but things have been abit different though.
something just doesnt feel right anymore.

haiz..like i said...i dont hope.
coze i know it would never happen.
anyway, finally came around to deciding where i wanna.
go after my ITE life.

it isint the best solutions thus far.
but i think its whats best for me.
although i know its for all the wrong reason.
oh god help me get through all this..

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you

2009-03-25T01:47:00.000+08:00

if i told u i was falling for u.
every single day, would it make a difference in things ?

if i told u every time my handphone beeps,
i wish it was a msg from u. would it make a difference in things ?

if i told u that when u were away for a week,
my heart aches and misses u unknowingly. would it make a difference in things ?

so many questions unanswered.
i wish i had the answers to them..
but right now, i think i can only look from afar.
and just pray that one day u will be mine.

although we have been through this before..
i will say this again..what are the chances ??
all i hope for usually doesnt happen..
haiz..if only u knew....

2009-03-23T20:48:00.000+08:00

Nickleback - If Today Was Your Last Day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each days a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
If today was your last day

Going against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts cause there's no second try
So live it like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your whole life

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
And would you call old friends you never see
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies
And would you find that one your dreaming of
Swear up and down to god above
That you'll finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark
On ending a broken heart
You know it's never too late
To shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind
A moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
Cause the hands of time
Are never on your side

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
And would you call old friends you never see
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies
And would you find that one your dreaming of
Swear up and down to god above
That you'll finally fall in love
If today was your last day

2009-03-19T22:22:00.000+08:00

a busted left knee...
a pulled muscle on the left knee abductors.
swollen fingers.
and 6 hours of sleep after nearly 72hour.

his job is still not done...
his got 3 more days.
and wonders how long he can hang on.
mentally his almost too exhausted.

physically it feels like a drag.
emotionally his heart wonders on so many problems.
and he hopes that there will be.
someone who will help him.

but he has lost hope.
coze everytime he hopes..
nothing will ever happen.

2009-03-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

just got back from,
erm novena velocity for some route setting.
erm yeah kinda have to set a few routes..
fun and hard ones.

anyway havent been sleeping the past 2 nights.
at least not been having proper sleep.
been having late night escapades this past 2 nights.
first cycling with one of my cousin.

then yesterday with the bunch of vjc students.
only manage to get 1 hour of sleep.
before heading home to change and wash up.
then headed off to novena to start with the.

stuff for boulderactive, was kinda tired.
but half the time i was more hungry and mainly,
just freaking thirsty like mad till,
i looked pale..

anyway been a long day,
but something doesnt feel right.
kinda miss hearing from that someone.
erm dont know why.

but heck hope this feeling will be fullfilled soon.
i hope although i know might not happen,
anyway gonna knock off soon.
need to wake up early 2mrw..haiz...

till next time...

i miss u, how bout u ??

2009-03-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

hmm..it all doesnt feel right..
i dont know why..
i feel down. i feel low.
i feel like total shit man..

haiz..dont know how come this time.
its so hard to try make myself happy.
even when i tried to talk to her.
it all just feel so bad..

now i think id made her angry.
or something like that..prolly shes dissapointed.
or maybe shes just like everyone else.
just sick and tired of listening to me.

say the same old shit.
but i cant help it.
i just feel like doing it..
i wish someone would help me.

and it would be her.
i seriously hope for it..

deep down he knows it might not be....haiz..disappointments after disappointments

2009-03-15T11:46:00.000+08:00

aites i think its about time i update.
tuesday was the last paper in ITE hopefully
the last day in school
the last day in uniform.

we celebrated after the paper.
showed some videos.
said our goodbyes as classmates.
but saying hello next time as friends.

anyway met up with malia, bas and shima.
jumari a long time junior of mine from changkat.
apparently got attach to malia.
hmm weird but heck i guess its cool

elfie joined in later.
headed to the playground at simei.
they played around at the playground.
shima tried the swing which i swore looks.

like its gonna break anytime soon...hahahaha...
anyway the following day kinda stayed at home..
not the whole day had a briefing for next weeks boulderactive.
at nus so went there and headed home there after.

hmm anyway next on thursday went climbing.
in short i did have that motivation to climb.
really tried but just the thought of boulder made me
wanna stop climbing altogether...

hmm, michelle tried to explain to me why i felt so.
kinda agreed partially but i know deep down inside.
what she said was true. she tried to really give me solutions
to get back the motivation, to spark of the flame.

for me to start climbing again. but it felt far fetch.
left asia early with the vjc kids.
didnt even clock 10 routes at the gym pathetic.
they wanted to watch a movie at plaza sing.

late night movie and on a thursday night.
mind u im a bit picky about thursday nights.
and i was going all out to trying to convince them not
to watch the movie they wanted.

do you want to know what movie..well
its the new hit horror movie called "coming soon"
mind u on a thursday night.
and i dont pay 8 bucks to scare myself shitless.

and in the end i was forced to.
trust me during the whole movie i was hiding behind my hands.
but weird part was i knew what was gonna happen next.
but still the sight of the ghost scared me shitless.

and to think those idiots who dragged my arse into.
this thing had the guts to watch the movie.
well think again..they were worst then me mind u..
hahaha..ridiculous.

when it all ended we were all scared like really really scared
to go home like even just the thought of the ghost.
sent shivers down my spine till today.
damn u ADLIN u will get ur just deserts..hahahahha

okay spent my friday at home the whole day boring as hell.
i swear if i spend any more days at home again i'll just go crazy.
yesterday went climbing at asia with the usual peeps.
and we went town to get hairul's ipod touch repaired.

and went bugis to find something.
it was one hell of the most boring day in my entire life.
oh god save me save me..
anyway nothing interesting after that..
went home..atttt...........

9.30..wth thats like freaking early ah..noooooooooooo
this is so not happening im gonna find something more produtive.
to do till my results or ill go nut nuts i tell u..
okay thats all for now.. till the next update....

i wonder whether u feel the same as i do,
or isit just me ?

2009-03-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

hmm..first day of the last week at school.
was what i would call erm a de javu.
coze somethings bout people dont change.
and i'd hate to say it but it disgust me.

i know my sharp tongue got me into.
trouble with some of them when i was in year 1.
but sometimes i think we need to
give people a wake up call.

well im seriously not gonna do it this time.
not that im scared or anything.
but more of like i know that, that someone.
wont change their way.

straight up to summarise what i have to say
for today's update is.

U DONT NEED A HOLE EVERY MIN OR SECOND OR DAY TO SATISFY UR STICK...

get it ? no
erm nvm then..
anyway no men should be that way lah..
its very very disturbing.... 0.0

k thats all...time to mug...

2009-03-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

quick update..
10 more days till last day in school
last paper..last exam in ITE
erm havent studied in depth.

but will be soon.
anyway havent been getting enough
rest lately..
sleepless nites at times.

dont know whats bugging me more.
exams or things around me.
anyway kinda finally finish the 3 day
first aid course at climb asia.

best first aid responder course ever attended.
fun and crazy..things we do that u dont wanna know.
anyway during the 3 days was quite bad.
wanted to do something really badly.

but cant afford to let the instructor see the scars.
now can we ?? wouldnt seem nice to him
especially together with my working colleagues.
side by side with me.

anyway the though of doing it hasnt left my mind.
its still there lingering from time to time.
im just waiting for something to trigger it.
i hope soon coze its bugging the shit out of me..

the need to paint this scars on my hand..

2009-02-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

its been a long time..
things have change.
i have change..
life isint what it used to be.

i wonder if my search of happiness.
will be found ???
it feels so vague.
it feels so cold at the moment.

where can one find this happiness.
i almost did. but it shattered away.
together with his heart and his dreams.
and as he walks on this lonely path.

all alone he came across someone else.
wondering if she will be the one.
being with her came with full of surprises.
smiling deep down inside not showing any.

not on the outside at least.
but deep down as his heart smiles.
it also wonders if this will last..
or will it end up being more in pain..

he just doesnt know..
what to do next.
where will all this lead to..
all the unanswered questions.

makes him feel edgy..
and lower then usual...

2009-02-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

they say u never stop loving the ones u love, u just try living without them..

2009-02-04T23:13:00.000+08:00

i think i will be on hiantus longer then expected..
sorry if im not updating..
still trying to find that happiness.
and myself back...

so hereby i shall declare..
i am going MIA for awhile...heh

2009-01-22T11:41:00.000+08:00

i contemplated on whether i should write this post.
but i guess i have to sooner or later
well things at school are getting lighter.
although there is a hint of pain and burden

that lingers on my shoulder.
well thx to the guys they introduced.
me to my eye candy.
right now u think everything is gonna be fine.

thats where ur wrong.
i just cant find a way to talk to her.
its so hard for me to find something to talk to her.
i feel bad that i cant talk on the same level as her.

anyway i was kinda surprised yesterday.
during lunch she said something that made me keep.
myself quiet and not say a word.
later that night.

i was kinda taken a back by what she said.
on the phone.
it made me think back..
am i good enough ?

just then she was saying how good looking my friends.
all were etc etc ..blah blah.
then taddaaa...someone dropped her a miss call.
and i was like. wow...

i thought that someone was suppose to be helping me.
but instead his calling her at night..
erm i dont doubt his motive.
but i dont know, that person outshines me in every single expect.

it didnt feel right.
i fell asleep waiting for her call or msg.
but it didnt came.
sleeping with the light on it was a first.

i wonder what was my friend's motive ?
i ponder really badly.
and i wonder if im really good enough for.
the last drop of hope for changing.

is slowly slipping.
maybe i should give up while things are good.
maybe bad things are just meant for me.
i dont know..i just need someone to help me up.

and all this isnt helping much...

why am i so dissapointed with my slightest failures ?

2009-01-21T09:24:00.000+08:00

Trait Explanations

Openness

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer novelty versus convention. Approximately 21% of respondents have a lower openness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who dislikes needless complexity, and prefers the familiar over the unusual. You might say that you are more conservative than many, but not to an extreme level, and that you value practical outcomes over flighty imagination.

Reflective question: How do you respond to people who have lots of new ideas?

Conscientiousness

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer an organised, or a flexible, approach in life. Approximately 91.9% of respondents have a lower conscientiousness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is a perfectionist. From your responses it appears that you prefer to plan everything to the last detail, which has consequently led to you being very successful and extremely reliable. From your responses it appears that more than most you enjoy seeing your long-term plans come to fruition.

Reflective question: How does being in an untidy environment make you feel?

Extraversion

This trait refers to the extent to which you enjoy company, and seek excitement and stimulation. Approximately 24.2% of respondents have a lower extraversion raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who prefers low-key social occasions, with a few close friends. You might say that it's not that you are afraid of large parties; they're just not that fun for you.

Reflective question: How do you like to spend your spare time?

Agreeableness

This trait refers to the way you express your opinions and manage relationships. Approximately 84.1% of respondents have a lower agreeableness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who people get along with easily. Your responses suggest that you would say you are considerate and friendly, and think that other people are generally honest and decent.

Reflective question: Is your co-operative preference ever taken advantage of by others?

Neuroticism (Emotional stability)

This trait refers to the way you cope with, and respond to, life's demands. Approximately 34.5% of respondents have a lower neuroticism raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is calm and emotionally stable. Based on your responses, you come across as someone who is rarely bothered by things, and when they do get you down the feeling does not persist for very long.

Reflective question: When do your emotions (or lack of emotions) get in the way of good decision making?

Jungian Typology Estimate

Research has found that the Big Five personality traits are significantly related to Jungian Typology (e.g. the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). This is a popular alternative personality framework regularly used for personal development, in which Types are used rather than Traits. Based on your Big Five trait scores, your estimated Type is shown below (if you have already taken a Jungian Typology test and got a different result, this can be changed from the More Options section).

ISTJ

Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging

ISTJs thrive on organisation. They keep their lives and environments well-regulated. They bring painstaking attention to detail in their work and will not rest until satisfied with a job well done. ISTJs are faithful, logical, organized, sensible, and earnest traditionalists. They earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Shutting out distractions, they take a practical, logical approach to their endeavors. Realistic and responsible, they work steadily toward their goals. They enjoy creating order in both their professional and personal lives. ISTJs are persons of thoughts and (sometimes) emotions. They prefer dealing with the present and factual, using various options to make decisions.

2009-01-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

today was a fine day.
though it was tiring.
and im tired of waiting also
no no its not waiting for her.

its waiting for things to happen.
reported at 9am at RP.
mind you i had to wake up at 6 liao.
just to make it there on time.

and guess what.
we had to sit in isolation for 4 hours plus
what a waste of time.
anyway i won 1st.

i am kinda not so proud of myself.
it just doesnt feel right abit.
anyway waited again..from 2 plus till like 10 plus.
just so i can take the prize.

damn was i tired by the time i was done.
anyway am trying to post todays pics.
and settling some other stuff.
will be heading for the bed soon.

am so tired...

2009-01-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a day.
full of mix feelings.
met up with the gang.
Malia, simah, raudah, bas and some others.
( see i put ur name first ah Malia !!)

anyway met up at ct hall.
malia cheat my feelings.
say dont wanna come.
then suddenly turn up.

anyway headed to marina square.
where we ate at macs.
it was directy opposite zara.
where she worked.

i hesitated for a moment.
wanted to ask them change place.
but though otherwise.
didnt want them to know.

anyway when we were about to leave.
for esplanade, malia ask me go zara
find her, i was like no..please.
not now..i dont want to hurt her.

i dont want to make her angry.
we were running late for the.
exhibition that raudah wanted to go to.
so i kinda rushed out of mac with shima and rau.

to head to esplanade.
the rest of the guys went to nike
to get a jacket for khai's NZ friend's jacket.
anyway when i wen to esplanade.

i thought it was some kind of normal exhibition.
till i found out it was the museum of broken relationships.
man my heart drop
unreluctantly went in.

wondering what ill find inside.
the whole place was almost closing up for.
the night but we had half and hour.
browsed through the different exhibits.

once i had completed all the exhibits.
i reached this end of the hall where they put a book
if anyone wanted to leave their confessions they could.
i wonder if i wanted to.

but went forward first.
to read some of them pages that we written by others.
as i did this. the first thought that came to my mind.
could she have written here ?

i doubt so. and thought, if i wanted to write something.
would she find it and read it ??
will it make a difference in things ?
i thought otherwise.

not that i didnt want to.
but the words that i saw on the exhibits.
somehow flash before my mind for a moment.
to feel the pain in the heart.

the dissapointment.
the failure that i had to carry in my life.
i tried to hold back the tears but i knew they would.
come out soon.

with a bit of luck we were all told to leave the exhibit.
as i left simah was asking why so sad.
takmo nangis ah.
at that point in time if i hadnt.

held back my tears i think it would have just pored.
i said takde lah maner ader.
walked away quickly.
pass my camera to shima.

rushed down the escalator just wanted to walk away.
didnt want them to see me like this.
not like this. this didnt feel right.
a drop of tear went down my cheeks.

wiped it away quickly.
holding the rest of those tears inside.
went to the shop.
to compose myself and to get a drink.

i promise i would visit that exhibit again.
not to re-live the pain but to.
just complete watching and reading all the
exhibits available.

anyway headed to merlion after that.
chilled till late and went home after,
a day spent in the most exhausting way possible
emotionally...

i know i was wrong i was to be blamed.
not you, i wasnt good enough.
i failed in what i wanted to achieve.
i lost sight of the dreams and goals

that i had set myself.
to make you happy.
to not be like your ex's.
to not dissapoint you.

but at the end of the journey.
i failed each and every single one of them
im sorry.
i should have treated you better.

i regret only when it was too late.
but till now. i dont know my mistake to you.
but still i know its my fault solely.
im sorry. i wish things didnt have to end this way.

2009-01-14T10:09:00.000+08:00

to her.
im sorry .
i never did blame you.
i will never blame you.

i know im the one to blame.
im the one at fault.
not you.
im the one who is holding on.

yes im the one who doesnt wanna give up.
i dont want to give up on things.
and i dont want to end things.
not on a bad note.

not like this.
i wish we could talk things out. please.
i dont want this misunderstandings to
get in the way of things that we already have.

i dont know if your reading this.
but if you are.
lets just talk things out.

god help give us strength..

2009-01-13T00:37:00.000+08:00

i think this song basically tells her
how i really feel about her.

Tercipta Untukku - ungu

Ungu - Tercipta Untukku

menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
membuat ku terdiam dan tepaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

banyak kata
yang tk mampu ku ungkapkan
kepada dirimu

reff:
aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
di setiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku

aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakini ku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil sluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tahu
ku slalu milikmu
yang mencntaimu
sepanjang hidupku

why do u have to treat me so coldly.
i long to hear ur laughter and smile.
see you face and just stand with you.
anywhere just as long as i can be with you.

i reached out to grab your hands only to see you let go
letting me fall, shattering me and my dreams of you and i...

2009-01-11T12:50:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a good day.
things went as planned.
except when i woke up late for.
my competition. when i say late.

it really means late.
registration for climb max, oragnised by rp.
was open at 845 and closes at 9.30
i woke up at 9.hahahaha

okay lucky manage to get my dad
to sent me all the way there.
even so i was about 10 mins late.
but luckyily told kamarul.

to register for me first.
and well isolation was a bitch.
small rooom packed with people.
and the disgusting smell of the heat spray thingy.

worst still after registration.
they made me the 3rd climber for.
intermediate man's route.
manage to get to finals.

so will be heading down to RP again next saturday.
damn thats like far larh..
hahaha.
anyway met up at raihan's place later at night.
supposedly to do project larh.

but trust me put 5 guys in a room.
doing our school project work was hilarious.
with shakir and ayul's disturbing raihan.
but we manage to get the job done in the end.

i headed home first to put my stuff.
and get a change of clothes.
and on my way back, receive a call from
mamal saying if i wanted them to get.

"Girlfriends" no.
haha..saying they had an insider and all.
the conversation was funny.
but agreed later that for 1 i say again 1
mega prosperity meal to who ever got her no.

well its their idea that at least everyone of us.
5 bachlors.well not all ah except shakir and ayul.
were to at least have an eye candy in school.
mistake ah i tell you telling them mine.
hahaha

now that the bet is on.
we shall see what happens next on monday.
hahaha
anyway later that night.

had a long chat with all of them questioning me
about her and me. how long have i been waiting.
you know all that normal question
trying to get me to move on from her.

thx for the help but i guess its harder then
it sounds. erm maybe you all wont understand ah.
not yet maybe. truth be told i just dont want to forget her.
its not that is only hard.

but she is everything to me
shes my life, in my every single breath.
every single heart beat.
if only she knew this.

2009-01-07T11:05:00.002+08:00

people are pushing their luck with me
dont test my patience coze u wont
like what happens next.
thats all for now...

2009-01-03T03:26:00.000+08:00

its a new year. and here i am wondering.
what am i to do next in my life.
i havent made up my decision fully on what to do.
exactly but i have a rough idea what i intend to do.

with that said some of you will be wondering.
at least those of you who know the story at least.
what about her ? what next.
well, to be honest..im still waiting.

waiting for her.
for that someone special.
that someone i really care for.
that someone who i really love.

now thats a pretty strong word.
but it is true.
i do love her.
be it if she feels the same way about me or not.

anyway, not trying to pin up hopes.
but as i plan my life.
i think about her.
and how shes going to be in my life.

shes not a boundary.
shes apart of me.
life will never be the same without her.
and it will never be any better.

be it good times or bad.
i will always love her.
cheers
happy new year people

2008-12-26T19:13:00.000+08:00

Here I Am, Everyday,
Since You Said, You\'d Come Again,
But It\'s Not Fair, Cos You\'re Not Here,
I Wait In Vain, But Nothing Has Chaaanged,

I\'m A Flower, Soaking In The Rain,
If I Could Wish One Thing, I\'d Hear You Call My Name,

(Chorus)

So When Will I See Your Face Again,
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ohh yeah),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ha),
I Think I Love Youuu...Will I See Your Face Again,

(2nd Verse)

Little Thing, Like The Rain Coming,
She Looked At Me A Certain Kind Of Way,
Tell Me Girl, Where Are You Nowww,
\'Cos I Don\'t Know How Much Longer I can Waaait,

I\'m A Dreamer, Waiting For The Sun,
When You\'re Coming In, I know My Life\'s Begun,
Tell Me Girl...

(Chorus)

When Will I See Your Face Again (ohh yeaaah),
When Will You Touch My Life Again (ummm um),
When Will I Breathe You In Again,
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

(Bridge)

You Know That All My Life I\'ve Been Waaaiting,
Waiting For Sooome, Someone Like You To Love Me,
You Can\'t Come By Like An Angel, Into My Life,
And then Fly Awaaaay, Flyyyyyy Away,

Oh Honey, Cos I, Uh Baby, Ba Ba Doo Yeah, Ohh ohhhh,
Sing, I\'ve Only Seen Youuu, Oh, I Said, Uh huh, I Said I Said, Yeah (woo)

(Chorus)

When Will I See Your Face Again (I Wanna See You Once In My Life),
When Will You Touch My Life Again, (Wanna See You Twice In My Life),
When Will I Breathe You In Again (ohhh),
I Think I Love Youuu, Will I See Your Face Again,

I said, see Bap pa da doo ba ba (ohhh),
Bap Ba Doo Yeah, That\'s What We Do Yeaahhh (ohh),
When Will iii See Your Face Again My Friend,
Oh Yeah, I Think You Gotta Let Me Know Yeah,
Ohh Yeahhh.

2008-12-24T01:44:00.000+08:00

okay this gonna be one of those
sad kinda post.
if you dont wish to hear it u can leave now.
=)

anyway before i start.
gonna dedicate this song to my any of friends
who is going through a rough time with
relationships or anything like that.

Heartless - Kanye West

now thats done gonna talk bout 2 things
nothing new if u know me deep enough.
but if you dont well maybe this will enlighten you
this is just kinda like an awarness in case any of you still
dont understand the disorder that this people go through.

Major depressive disorder

Depressed people may be preoccupied with, or ruminate over, thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt or regret, helplessness or hopelessness.Other symptoms include poor concentration and memory, withdrawal from social situations and activities and thoughts of death or suicide. Insomnia is common: in the typical pattern, a person wakes very early and is unable to get back to sleep. Appetite often decreases, with resulting weight loss, although increased appetite and weight gain occasionally occur.

Self-injury

Self-injury (SI) or self-harm (SH) is deliberate injury inflicted by a person upon their own body without suicidal intent. Some scholars use more technical definitions related to specific aspects of this behaviour. These acts may be aimed at relieving otherwise unbearable emotions, and/or sensations of unreality and numbness. Self harmers are often mistaken as suicidal, but in the majority of cases this is inaccurate. A common belief regarding self-injury is that it is an attention-seeking behaviour; however, in most cases, this is inaccurate. Many self-injurers are very self-conscious of their wounds and scars and feel guilty about their behaviour leading them to go to great lengths to conceal their behaviour from others. They may offer alternative explanations for their injuries, or conceal their scars with clothing. The person who self-injures is not usually seeking to end his or her own life; it has been suggested instead that he or she is using self-injury as a coping mechanism to relieve emotional pain or discomfort.

alright thats all for now.
good day. =)

2008-12-22T00:58:00.001+08:00

50 most romantic things to do w/ your b/f or g/f

1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands
6. Buy gifts for each other.

7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time
you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.

12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.

16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you
love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt with each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.

20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it

over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with
her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have

to look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to
call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.

32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.

38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.

42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't
thinking about them, and make sure they know it.

45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.

50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, 'Sweet dreams.'

on a not so light note.
i still dont know how you
wants things between us to be..
are you still gonna lead me on ?

2008-12-17T11:41:00.000+08:00

its saddening even after this long.
you still dont trust me.
wheres it should be me wondering.
whether you have been going out with anyone elso.

your fickle mindedness is begining to make.
me wonder if you really mean what you say.
coze if its nothing more then being.
friends that you are feeling then.

i think its best that we reflect on whatever.
we have said to each other.
coze its become words without meaning now.

P.S. : I still do love you...

2008-12-16T02:20:00.000+08:00

if only u knew how much.
it hurts when you finally told me.
it feels as if my world once again.
crumbled around me.

you will never know how much
i cared, cherish and hoped of you.
u shatered this with your words.
and it hurt so badly.

i never could understand what.
you really wanted from me.
you say things like it didnt mean
anything but to me it meant

EVERYTHING

seconds after seconds
minutes after minutes
days after days.
weeks, months and years after.

you threw it all out like it was nothing.
like it didnt mean a single thing to you.
and when you say " i love you"
i now know that you never

really meant it.
it was just a spur of the moment.
to say something that felt right
at that point in time.

i did everything that i know
that you wanted and the things
that i get from you and wish from you
i never received.

in the end it was all words.
and without any action
words without meaning.....

2008-12-15T18:37:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i last updated.
been quite busy and now that my holidays.
have finally started.. im so free that i dont have.
anything to do in my schedule.

well except work and doing my.
final theory test. huhuhu..
anyway been working on my
photoshop both Lightroom 2.1 and

Adobe Photoshop CS3 extended.
a big head ache from all the photos.
and trying to edit all those un wanted things.
and trying to put a copy right or water mark on.

all those hundreds of pictures.
for those of you who are waiting for the pics.
be patient. talent takes time hahahaha.
but once im done with them.

i will upload them for sure.
so do not fret.
anyway been working on the pictures from.
last fridays 56th Cadet officer course POP

head ache man like seriously.
now yesterday night was fun.
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to AYUL & MAMAL.
hope you have a blessed 19th year in your life.

the overnite at east coast was great.
went cycling with grinch and mamal after the whole celebration.
had a little adventure with them
both fun and scary.

anyway yesterday night will one of those.
days where we will cherish and look back
and as for the photos.
ah korang tunggu lama-lama sikit eh.

im gonna crack my head when i see those photos.
bad lighting. and in the dark with only my in-built flash.
oh god help me.. >.<

2008-12-08T23:36:00.000+08:00

Okay any of you ever wondered how its like
for me and my classmate when mr owen first.
started teaching us and now when mr andrew speaks.
to us all. well just watch this video and you will understand.

Anyway heres another video by the same production
its about learning english.
damn freakingly funny.
go watch.and enjoy. =D
P.S. : sorry its in malay for the second video

2008-11-30T01:17:00.001+08:00

will be away on camp the wholr of next week.
wont update till god knows when.
anyway last words before i log off.
important things to say

sometimes in life its hard to make a decision
event if the answer is clear cut,
you just cant take it for reason that is only known.
to yourself. and you cant tell other people.

its not that you dont wanna tell them.
its just that they wont understand.
ive learned that trying to explain to people.
who have made up their mind on what

their ideal answer or opinion is,
is practically pointless despite laying out all
the pointers that yo have.
and to think that FRIENDS are the people.

we thought we could turn to.
in times of needs and understanding.
and for them to put themselves in your shoe
despite how hard it is for them to understand.

how u feel and ur problems and situations.
was such a wrong idea. coze like i once heard.
that in the times when ur under pressure,
sometimes ur friends turns out to be your worst enemy.

and they will do anything to get what they want.
using what ever means necessary to get it.
even giving yo situations where they will win.
and you have no choice but to lose

and they will make others look on
the bad side and the negative side of
ur decision.

i shall leave things at this.
if i were to go on,
it will be a very very very long post.

p.s. this post is not related to anyone. its just some words
of my life experiences and how i have understood them.

2008-11-24T13:37:00.000+08:00

orites days and days,
photos after photos.
finally ive uploaded them all..

so heres a direct link for all you people..

Pentas evening

22nd nov

aites will give a proper update once im feeling better.

2008-11-19T02:02:00.000+08:00

Its been a week already,
the last of my pay should be in already.
what is wrong here man people !
i want my pay like last friday.

it really is frustrating, coze i really wanted
to by something but i got hold back by the pay issue.
ARGH !! this is frustrating and tiring.
all this waiting and knowing u can do nothing.

and its the 3rd or even 4th email regarding the back account number.
thingy, hell i'll gladly come down to asia again just to
get my pay again instead of waiting for you to trunsfer funds.
to us all, and im kinda not regretting not coming to work

On monday, i didnt do it on purpose but i guess.
it kinda works out for me. im not being bad here.
just that i forgot but im also kinda glad i didnt go.
i dont want to wait for next months pay this long again.

coze if i have to, shit ill never work at the counter ever again.
on a lighter note though, i finally got my Canon EOS 450D.
LIKE FINALLLYYY !! YAAY!!!
cant wait to take some more photos with it.

and i got a billabong bag for it instead of crumpler.
dont ask me why, it has got something to do with
the pay issue also, but im glad i bought it.
other then not being able to divide the main compartments,

im still able to bring my books or laptop and put,
it into a different compartment and my pencil box
or all those other small stuff into the smaller comparments.
wonder why i dont wanna use my own camera bag which.

i got for free ? coze its kinda a group thing where.
we try not to make it obvious we have a DSLR camera in our bag.
so its kinda hidden thing.hehe..
stupid maybe but i kinda feel the exact same thing that they feel

we feel ashamed that we have a DSLR.
coze its losing its value and meaning.
instead of being use for photgrahy, people walk around.
flaunting it showing it to the world that they do have the

Money to buy an SLR camera. so its becoming more of.
a fashion accessory then its true meaning.
i dont think some of them even know how to use the
arpeture and shutter speed not that im really good at this.

but im learning from the best and try to achieve to be the best
in this line also. not really the top few. but at least know what
its functions are all for.
alright2 i shall stop here for now.

till next time.

2008-11-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

okay being on hiatus is not really that fun.
things has been okay the past few days.
just came back from my cousins weddings.
a very tiring day.. wish i didnt have to do it.

will be going to dairy farm 2mrw.
to climb with chewwy and the gang..
i cant wait for monday coze thats when i.
will be getting my camera. hopefully.yea !!

and i want the days to fly from monday to wednesday.
can't stand to miss that someone too much.
no no im not attach or anything.
but yeah.. cant bare not to hear from someone.

for a long time..
orite will do a proper update soon..
till then..
adios..

cant wait for my canon 450D

2008-11-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

okay schools been a bitch,
a bit at least. i cant wake up in the morning.
and to make it worst, 2mrws class is at 8.
freaking 8am in the morning.

which means i have to wake up at 7am.
mind you 7AM is very early for someone.
who is still recovering man.
yes i am sick. abit.

from the climb on last weekend that is.
mentally and physically weak.
nothing can go into my thick head.
hahaha..

okay will just post a video here of what people.
in my class do when we are bored.
so just watch.

2008-11-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

finally, climb on 2008 is over.
things was a havoc on my side on the.
first day at least but thankfully with.
the help from some of the other guys.

we manage to pull things off.
and the second day was so fantasticly great.
that i could actually leave them to do stuff and check.
on those who needed help the most.

all in all i was kinda please with the second day more.
then the first day due to the two different situations.
anyway chris linder who was there broke his leg.
while trying his own route he set.hahaha..

abit funny. anyway will update the pictures once.
i have them from chewy.which will take 2 weeks..bahahaha.
okay anyway am damn tired now.
and dont know what to talk about will just leave this video for you to.
watch, enjoyy..

Crush - David Archuleta

2008-10-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

okay im gonna make this a quick one.
26th october, some day that i once wished .
i was never born. 2 girls decided to prove.
to me on how fun a birthday is.

after nearly 10 years of not celebrating
it was fun ah..
great company , great time, stupid jokes.
and vic's fierce side made the day.

feel kinda weird but fun.
oh well this ladies gave me 2 boxes of donuts.
which equals to 24 donuts.
who in the right mind will eat that much ?

i also dont know.
anyway thx for the day out.
you kinda made it worth while.
and as im typing this climb on is getting nearer..
omfg !!!!

and my manpower side is unsettled..
haiz..god help me.
more things are coming..>.<

2008-10-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

okay..been really busy lately,
with work and climb on.
okay works been fine.
but schools been a bitch.

since all the classes are in the.
afternoon, thx to the lecturers.
it clashes with my work.
im not gonna stop working.

but im gonna sacrifice school
hopefully it wont afect my studies.
need to do well.
and all that other stuff and nonsense..

anyway been kinda stress from climb on,
the manpower is great but im scared to.
open my email still and im really2 tired.
to entertain people on some shit which is not.

in my job scope.
stooooppp asking me about the online registration !!
one i dont know how to help u.
two is because im not the one who program the.

registration system so i dont know anything.
just becoze im in the commitee dosent really mean.
i have to know other peoples jobs and do it.
for them also. haiz..

and people are very fussy about volunteering.
dont want under sun lah, want under sun lah.
so can sun tan abit ah,
dont want to come training lah.

want me to give them personal breifing ah.
think you all what ??!!
some high class star ah..come on lah.
help me help you leh..

dont be sooooooooooo picky can.
haiz...things are so clear cut on the website.
on the job scope of a VOLUNTEER !!!!.
im thankful for those who are not so fussy.
they make my life less troublesome.

help me clear their stuff faster.
haiz..all i can do is sigh and sigh..
okay2, i shall try my best to keep things smooth.
alot of things are still left undone.

and the event date is getting closer.
im getting more scared.haiz.
i hope the turn out is good for both the event.
and the volunteers..

god help me....

there is no such thing as idiot proof as the world always creates a better idiot and they are the least expected bunch of people...

2008-10-16T23:21:00.000+08:00

i dont know my mistake.
i dont know what i have done wrong.
i dont know why you did this to me.
i guess im just not important to you.

im cutting my hair 2mrw.
am not in a good mood today.
so will i be 2mrw.
so dont fuck with me.

officially having one of those bad days.
where i dont see the reason in life.

2008-10-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

okay school has been great soo far..
wake up late go home late...
NOTTTT...
wth...i know i cant wake up

early in the morning..
but id hate to go home late.
very late...as in 5 pm..
nooooooo....im so dead...>.<

anyway i dont wanna open my email.
at the moment..uber scary.
coze the email is poring in like maddddd..
and im soooo lazy to entertain lah..

haiz..someone help me..
>.<.....
*runs away like mad...

2008-10-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

today was great.
coze went out with the gang.
from work for rayamania.
hahah..thats what one of them called it.

i was the centre man switching.
between the car and bike that we had.
and also the navigator for the trip.
was great, coze we didnt get lost.

i think..well at least not by my count.
anyway, it was a great day.
went to each others house.
and also big boss house.

and some other peeps.
for those that we missed out.
i truly apologise for not making it.
to ur open house but thanks for the invitation.

anyway went home with irwan.
on his bike. it was the greatest.
kinda feeling ever.
driving from sle to tpe and back to pie.

he was sending me home.
and it felt great travelling down the expressway.
at 100km/h..fuh so so so.
i dont know..exciting just dont seem.

to describe the feeling of the cold.
wind agains ur face, and the speed and lights.
going pass u and all that other nice.
cool stuff u get to experience.

only when u ride a bike at 100km/h.
anyway just leave some photos for.
the gang to grab erm.
apologies if the photo werent good enough..

2008-10-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

wtf !!!!!!

blogger just deleted my whole post ~!!!!!!!!!
im sooo not gonna write that long post again..
i swear argh !!!

wtf...

nites..

2008-10-07T01:06:00.000+08:00

alright so i just got some pictures,
and i can finally do an update.
at least a proper one.

aites the past few days of hari raya.
was carbohydrate, fat filled with food.
almost every house we went we had to eat.
something, ranging from roti boyan,

mee soto lah, mee siam lah.
erm ayam goreng lah.
this one is the best, bone steak.
fuh...but i didnt dare to eat it.

coze i was wearing white.
so i dont think i would come out of.
that house as white as when i came in.
hahaha

this is my oh so adorable cousin.
name Sifah Mahira
very irritating, very cute.
very curious of her surroundings.
and and she bites !

no lah just kidding, she dont bite.
but if she did, haha, that picture.
would be like a devil in disguise picture.
haha,anyway she will make everyones day.
with her funny little antics.

aites moving on next,
i couldnt resist to disturb
those two of my friends.
who are scared of cats again.
(refer to previous post)

sorry bro, no offence.
but this cats are just,
soooo furryyy...and big.
hahaha

i wonder what their reaction will be.
if they saw this cat beside them
would be interesting. (=
moving on.

we headed to my grandma's house.
which is on my dad's side.
and i was treated to a huge treat of.......

TIRAMISU !! yum..hahaha

anyway i'll let the picture do abit of talking

amcm bit ?? tempted tak ?? hahaha

they wouldn't let me eat the whole thing so they gave me a slightly smaller one.
together with cheesecake.yummyy...hahaha

alright heres a close up.

moving on yet again.
i was experimenting with my dad's camera
and decided to use the feature that one of my uncle.
taught me on shutter speed, ISO, exposure,

so heres what i got when u mix,
a moving car, with slow shutter speed,
high exposure, etc etc,
aplologies for the blurr pic,

keep in mind that it was a moving car.
and so there was the un even road.
and and.other factors lah.
okay just look...

aites i think thats all for now

p.s: i need to gain weight and cut my hair !!!

2008-10-07T00:49:00.000+08:00

alright this just gonna be a photo update,
erm well partially ah..

alright i swear if erm the twins in my class saw exactly how big this cat was they would.
erm i dont know man, be more fearful of the feline species ?
haha..well this cats arent exactly small.as u can see in the next picture.

a cat that huge is scary, but thankflly they dont scratch and bite.and the best part
they are trained..muahaha..now u can tell them to sit on anything..hehehe.

aites this is the picture of my family together with erm, one of dad's cousin ?
i dont know who she is exactly, but she lives with her son who owns those biggg cats..

okay went to sempang bedok last nite. despite having a full stomach,
but it was once in a while for me to go out with my uncle and cousin, and
especially my grandma, my pillar of strength. i guess its only once a year where.
my uncle brings my grandma out for a late night supper.

aites that all for the moment.

2008-10-03T13:21:00.000+08:00

To all my muslim friends.
selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin.
so now thats things are in order.
i will just post pictures from the first day.

cheers

from left to right : Mr C Kunalan, Me, my grandma,
Mrs Kunalan, Kathina( my cousin from germany)

yes, in case you dont know who Mr C Kunalan is, go google it. and if u know him, yes he does come to my house evey raya.

my family, just without my dad.

my auntie who got married to an australian.hehe.

last but no least. my uncle and cousin.

aites that all..till next time

2008-09-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

orite after a full day of slacking.
finally i figured out what i wanna.
blog about.hehe.
alright, i bet u all have heard bout the.

milk issue from china right ?
and the F1 in singapore.
im gonna revolve around this 2 topics.
and maybe side track abit.haha

alright. the F1 was particularly a great event.
the fun and excitement in it all.
i must admit i was kinda surprise.
that they pull off all the stunts for the event.

despite some unfortunate events.
during the race for example.
ferrari's unlucky accidednt at the pit.etc,etc
and with alonso winning the race.

but i feel like city hall was kinda caged up.
during this event if u havent notice.
if you were to walk around the marina area.
i feel like a bird in a cage..>.<

despite the safety concerns of the organisers.
i think they could have put something nicer..
alright, next up is the milk issue from our..
asian power house CHINA *prompts for applause*

just when we think that any food or disease issues.
that come from that big country were almost forgotten.
they drop the bomb on us.
yeah its the bomb man..

its food !! if it wasnt for some idiots up there.
i would still be happily chewing on my white rabbit candy.
but now i cant eat it anymore.
thx guys, and no more dutch lady milk.

i was under the impression dutch lady milk.
really came from somewhere in europe.
thus the name DUTCH lady.
Well its not so dutch anymore is it ?
hahaha

alright.reading the news paper have driven me nuts.
bout this issue.
imagine a reporter writting a story that after clearing.
his cabinets of junk food which filled 4 shelves.

he was only left with 1 shelf which was not even full.
scary isint it that we kinda depend too much on one.
country for its cheap labour and end up paying the price now.
with the food that we eat.

alright alright...i hope im not sounding like a typical singaporean.
complain here complain there. just like the cat at my work place.
haha...okay thats the end of the 2 topics.
BUT im kinda not done yet.

dont know why, maybe becoze its....
1 more day to hari raya.
wooohooo..
haha..no link sei izzzat...hahaha.

alright.im gonna stay far far away from geylang.
2nite and 2mrw coze i know its gonna beee sooo pack.
yeah very pack until you take 30 mins to walk from one.
end of bazaar to the other..plus the M&M (mats & minahs)

walking around staring at people like they own.
the whole world fuh, im so not in the mood.
to go there anymore..
i still remember the joke bit made.

imagine one of those fat minahs bangs into.
one of us, we "accidently" say : "oops cholestrol"
or " oops lemak bercream" hahaha.
funny sia how their reaction will be..

okay2 i think this post is long enough.
so yeah..btw thx eh krg tag pat blog aku.
lepas satu satu sei..hahaha...gua malu babe!!!
orite thats all...

im looking forward to this event..:)

2008-09-29T02:08:00.000+08:00

Alright, been kinda lazying around.
as hari raya is drawing nearer.
but been busy with one thing in particular.
CLIMB ON 2008.

Im still very short on volunteers.
so yeah..been kinda hectic trying to find volunteers.
so to those of you reading my blog.
and think you can help.

On the 1st and 2nd of november for this event.
please drop me an email at dodgeviper_89@hotmail.com
ill be in debt to you for helping me make this event a success.
alright, ill stop here for now.

will do a proper update when i have.
something constructive to say.haha.
adios

2008-09-27T03:23:00.001+08:00

koleksi SYAWAL

toooo all my muslim friends who.
are celebrating hari raya this year..
like whose not right..okay
too save you the trouble of finding songs from..

IMEEM on koleksi - koleksi lagu raya,,,,
i wanna save you the trouble of doing it..im just gonna put it on this post..
trust me you will find most of the sings here.
tell me who else puts 100 over songs on a playlist.

just for other people to hear ?
well this kind lady has done it..
so credits, kuuudooos..etc etc to her..
so heres the playlist..

2008-09-25T13:29:00.000+08:00

so heres the post im so not looking forward.
To blog about.
went to CMPB with shakir.
On tuesday for the medical check up.

Boy was it a whole new experiece.
The pee in the bottle test.
the blood test.
and dick test. yes u heard it.

the Medical Officer(MO).
ask us guys to pull down our pants.
and undergarments infront of him.
so he can see our little or big sticks.

i bet he has one of the most boring jobs.
staring at those things.
trying to figure out if its fake or real.
hahaha.

orite.then had the uber long IQ test.
i swear that is the longest test,
besides D&T theory paper.
that i ever sat for.

wah every thing else took less then 5 mins..
the iq test took what 1hour plus plus..i think.
i didnt bother to put in much effort.
didnt complete some of the sections.

Maths was simple.but didnt revise.
so i didnt know crap.
then at the end of it all.
i got PES B....WTF

i got PES B coze im underweight ??
thats so unreasonable.
ARGH..i swear i can do more pull ups then.
the guy who took the measurement for me.

im not happy..need to put on weight i guess.
grr..anyway went for a late night jog.
with one of my friend from work.
and manage to take the last bus home..hehe.

alright thats all for now.
im still not happy bout work.
and now my pes status.
grr....

2008-09-20T16:56:00.000+08:00

i guess how i feel towards her is.
clearly stated in the song on my blog.
so heres the lyrics..

Pertemuan yg tiada terduga
Kini kita saling bermesra
Masa berganti hati diubati
Mekarnya cinta mula dirasai

Semakin ingin ku cuba luahkan
Engkau masih tidak mengerti
Cemburu terasa musnahlah impian
Melihat enkau terus direbuti

C/O
Berkali ku nyatakan
ku sayangkan
Padamu
Namun kau masih membisu

Kau tk mengerti
Ingin kau ku miliki
Kau menghancuri
Hati ini

Ku cuba nyatakan rasa cintaku
Hati masih terus keliru
Andai kau fahami isi hatiku
Yang benar ingin memilikimu

Usah bandingkan sejarah lama
Kau tahu ku benar setia
Serikmu untk bercinta lagi
Takut dirimu disakiti

2008-09-18T15:43:00.000+08:00

okay officially im bored..
and got nothing to do.
till i got my medicak check up letter.
hahaha...yes you heard it..they are calling me...

come cut hair come cut hair..hahaha..
i swear im not gonna cut my hair.
for some stupid photo k.
hahaha..

soooo..i decide to go youtube.
and find some funny videos...
to entertain myself so that i dont.
have to think about the medical check up.

so here are just some of the fnny videos...

okay..im still bored at the end of it all..
haiz.

2008-09-17T03:47:00.000+08:00

okay time check 3.47 am..
wondering what im doing up sooo early ??
well am watching movies.
as usual...

am kinda bored.
monster hunter is no fun without friends.
fasting is making me tired..
its making me weak in climbing also.

amuerte climbing comp qualifying.
ends this weekend with finals next week.
i dont think im up to it.
not in peak condition to score those

sick uber sick 7a routes.
although people say its a soft route..
i would say soft if ur not fasting..
hahaha..

kay just bought my baju raya.
dang this guys at those bazaar do make alot of money.
every single year from selling those shirts.
foods. carpets and all those stuff..

and we buy em even if it was expensive.
i guess it must be the deprevation.
of food and water that must have made our mind.
all twisted to buy those stuff..

tell me who in the right mind.
i mean really.
would buy a 200 over dollars baju raya.
mind u..its 200 bucks..

and ur only like wearing it once..
and neext year your getting another one.
well if ur a rich mans son or daughter.
then i got no comments..

but for me..fuhh...
alot sia...hahahaha..
alright2..2mrw got climb on meeting.
havent got enough manpower at the moment.

panic , PANIC !!.
crap im screwed..
and the meeting starts at 7..
wait didnt they think about us breaking fast.
dang...im screwed..guess i will just get.

a bottle of drink till i finish the meeting ah..
and and wah bits new found friend..
is super mencair kan hamba seperti aku ni..
*smiles from ear to ear*

hahahahahha.....
okay till next time...
mornings and and...selamat berpuasa..

2008-09-15T00:19:00.000+08:00

okay this is gonna be a.
lame update.
so spare urself the pain if ur not playing.
the psp especially this game.

orite.. been playing monster hunter 2nd G with.
the usual suspects.
currently am at HR9 thx to my cousin.
but at the moment.

trying to unlock some high rank quest has been.
a major pain in the but due to having to repeat.
quest 5 times for each god damn foresaken monster..
kalau senang takpe..

so i have finally given up..
and decide to use the oh so god like.
CWcheats..yes im using cheats to complete this side.
of the game at least...argh..

but havent tried it out till before i met shakir just now.
kinda wicked eh not having to die..hahaha.
alright2...will get back to my psp now..
got to unlock those freaking quest...

onwards towards my goal !!

2008-09-11T18:14:00.000+08:00

okay finally exams are overrrr...
muahahaha..and will be having holiday.
till 2nd week of raya.
thats long..

erm i wonder what i will be doing.
during the fasting month..
its already a bore.
explains the blog not being updated.

okay, i will find something.
constructive to do at least.
something ah..
i dont know what.. but something..
hahaha...

orite2..
will update this blog.
when something constructive
happens...

2008-09-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

okay as promised..
a proper update is in order..
anyway, went to jaan par andre.
for my friends surprise dinner.

wondering where that is..
its on the 70th floor of the swissotel, the stamford.
cool eh..so heres how esplanade looks from the 70th floor.

cool eh ?
anyway the dinner was a bomb.
the food was great.
the company fantastic.

havent had a dinner like this in a while.
anyway heres the rest of the images.
enjoy it.

those things that look like sticks.
arent sticks at all...

next,
main course

then desserts

and finally.. the end meal sweets...

picture of the day..

2008-09-02T01:25:00.000+08:00

k my comps finally repaired.
and back to normal.
will do a proper update soon..just hang on.

and selamat berpuasa...hahaha

2008-08-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

okay a quick update on whats happening.
had a strange, UBER strange chat.
i shall not say what happens.
but i think i wanted to vomit blood.

after that happened.
it still runs chills down my spine.
thinking bout it..yikes..
okay on the lighter note.

those oof you who watch old movies.
remember this one from marah marah sayang.
i guess guys should do this more often huh ?

ive settled all my presentation.
and am left with my exams only.
what date was it again ?
haha..anyway.

had CHIJ course again today.
on the way back to the MRT
had a chat with my boss.
also a good friend of mine.

well he was telling me about
some stuff on CA (climb asia)
and told me that they were thinking.
of making some of the part - time staff.

have a more senior postition.
and i was selected to be one ah.
erm..i was happy.
but i was not so ready.

coze when he told me that some days
we had to do Superviser duty.
and immediately i said i wasnt ready.
and he said he was okay.

but he said i will still be one of the senior staff.
im happy at the moment for being selected.
but i know whats in store for me is hard.
and difficult.

but i will peservere through it.
hopefully i can do what im told and.
not dissapoint my bosses...
okay2 thats all for the moment.

2mrw class photo taking..
muahaha..must look good i guess ??

2008-08-14T00:51:00.000+08:00

k been really busy with work lately.
now exams are coming..
and i dont even have time to study.
YET !

hahaa..
okay im taking on this next project in.
my oh so small life.
im helping out with oraganising.
Climb On singapore 2008.

big event which requires my full attention.
okay maybe not attention.
but i need to get some stuff done.
its like tackling a big event.

well actually it is a big event.
im trying to pull in some of my friends.
other then that. erm.
i leave the rest out..hahaha.

sorry guys.. got requirements..
anyway i think thats all for now.
hopefully ill get to update again real soon..
alright till then nites..

2008-08-03T22:32:00.001+08:00

okay..looks like i dont have.
anymore bunny in the house.
to bully at least..hahaha..
so no more werebit..

no more fun..
but that means my wires.
are all save from its teeth..hahah
anyway yeah kinda miss those bunny..

despite the irritable noise they make.
in the middle of the night.
oriteo..just post some pics..
which my sis took before they were taken away..

alalah cute kaper ?? bahahhaa

daily escape attempt from cage.....

succeeded...but was put back in the cage a while later..hahaha..

anyway will post one video for ur laughter..
just listen to what my sister say..
and laugh away..

haha..another reason why she didnt wanna keep.
the werebit. other then the rashes she gets..hahhaa

2008-07-29T22:18:00.000+08:00

Q1: The person who tagged you is?
`Dhaniyah

Q2: What is your relationship with him/her/them ?
my cadet ??

Q3: Your 5 impression of him/her/them ?
`i dont know..bubbly i guess...

Q4: The most memorable thing he/she/them has done for you?
`erm..dont thing any of that has happened so far

Q5: The most memorable thing that he/she/them has said to you?
`erm.i cant remember anything ah...hahahah

Q6: If he/she/them becomes you lover, you will...?
`hahaha.........like real oni....

Q7: If he/she/them becomes your lover, things he/she/them has to improves on?
`like i said like real oni...hahaha

Q8: If he/she/them becomes your enemy, you will..?
do nothing..i dont like enemies...i like friends...do u like friends ?? i do... =)

Q9: If he/she/them becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
erm...dont know..

Q10: The most desire thing that you want to do for him/her/them now is?
`haha..u kidding me ah ??

Q11: Your overall impression on him/her/them ?
i hardly remember all my cadets...what kinda Cadet officer am i..bahahhaa

Q12: How do you think people around you will feel about you?
`erm..i dont know how bout you ask them...

Q13: The character you love of yourself are..?
i can love myself...mmmhmm..yummy..hahahhahaha..

Q14: On the contrary, the character you hate yourself are..?
`i can hate myself ? how cool is that ??

Q15: The most ideal person you want to be is?
no one..everyone is different in their own way..i dont want to be anyone else..coze no originality...bahahaha

Q16: For people who care & like you, say something about them.
erm..taking cares...keep in touching...bahahaha

Q17: Pass this quiz to 10 people !
bit
kamarul
feeza
ayul
iqmalia
sarah
hafiz
yra
rsm ncc(bahaha...kau buat kelakar perrr ?? just kidding ah)
zahira
ain

Q18: Who is number 6 having relationship with?
`ermmm..i dont know..later i ask kkkkk ?? wait...sarah !!! who are u having relationship with ????

Q19: Is 9 a male or female?
`Female

Q20: If 7&10 are together, will it be a good thing?
`ermm..i will let fate decide ah..

Q21: How about 5&8?
`they are both girls lah...

Q22: What's number 2 is studying about?
`sports and business...same as me....

Q23: When was the last time you chatted with number 3?
`erm..a few days back ah..

Q24: Is number 4 single?
`very much soo..

Q25: Talk something casually about number 1.
`shes a psychologist...in training..hahaha

kk dah..thats the end i hope..hahhaa
no more of this kinda thing pleaseeeee...hahahaha

2008-07-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

oriteo...we got the shirt..
but guess what
its on size to big..
and it makes me look fat...

damn it..
wth..i paid $25 for a shirt.
that makes me look fat..
kanasai !!!..

and dont ask about my.
finals result..
ill tell u that i didnt do well..
but other then that just dont ask..

im not happy..
and the week is getting worst...

2008-07-25T12:48:00.000+08:00

the class is making a shirt.
great idea..
only flaw is u people ordered without informing.
the rest and giving us sometime to.

get the money.
dont blame me if i dont wanna.
pay anymore then i already gave u.
coze someone pissed me off.

with his snobbish stuck up attitude.
adrian fuck you.
im so close to slamming ur face against the wall.
asshole things i grow money out of trees isit..

come on ah people.
please consider other peoples financial.
issue first before deciding..
coze we are not rich like you..

2008-07-21T09:23:00.000+08:00

Past few days have been great.
although im officially broke now..
like very broke..hahaha..
anyway the weekend was great..

ended up having a tan from the event..
if your wondering whats the event..
its the yearly held event.
organised by singapore mountaineering federation.

National School Sports Climbing Competition.
Or better know as NSSCC..
its good that i had a chance to be an official..
and to look at how hard and demanding people.

Sometimes are towards the officials..
ANd how hard we work just to please.
some of the SOB....
But in the end it was great event..

I did well for my A division lead.
And im going into the semi-finals.
That means i have to work twice as hard.
For the next 3 days to make it to the finals.

This is 1 of 2 chances to get to nationals..
I dont wanna blow this up..
i have to do my best..
And i hope i excel....

2008-07-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

I am sorry

For all the things

I ever said

That have made your smile

Fade away.

I still love you