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i can do science
but i cant do chemistry,
biology and physics.

i love black and white
and sometimes red.

music


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Music Playlist at MixPod.com



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    SM Sarawak Expedition webby
    Aidil
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    Wednesday, March 9, 2011, 9:30 PM

    Even though i smile and look happy on the outside
    From day to day, deep inside i feel empty
    I do not know what is missing in my life ?
    Coze all i feel is the emptiness within

    My loneliness consumes me from the inside
    My emptiness doesnt seem to ever be filled up
    I go by day to day just wishing it will come to an end
    And that 2mrw will be better but it only gets worst

    I dont have anyone i could turn to
    Neither do i have any one to speak to openly
    And even if i do, i do not wish to burden their
    Already hard lives with mine

    I just wish one day i can find some happiness
    That isint just temporary but forever
    But i know my wishes will never be fullfilled
    As my life was never filled with anything that i ever wished for




    Monday, February 28, 2011, 12:03 PM

    My day just suddenly took a turn for the worst...
    But wats new right ??
    My life has never been filled with happiness
    Only bad things happening for the worst..

    I dont really care wat happens anymore
    Let it be then even if i die or something bad happens to me
    It wouldnt matter coze no one would care or give a damn
    I give up in trying to be gd and trying to change

    This is the end.
    This is where it stops..




    10:54 AM

    Knowing that they are talking behind your back
    And nothing they say is gd and they are just
    Out to embarrass you openly and
    Theres nothing you can do to stop them

    It hurts deep down and you keep it to yourself
    And at the end of the day your kinda glad
    That your all alone and that you keep
    Telling yourself that you dont have to depend on anyone

    But it also makes you feel lonely to a point that
    You kinda wish some one will help you
    And not expect anything in return
    But thats just impossible

    I have come to realise that my happiness can
    Never be found in my everyday life
    Maybe in the afterlife ?
    I will never know




    Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 2:45 AM

    Days turns to weeks then months.
    With each passing day it feels worst
    This lonely feeling of when i look ard me
    And find that im all alone with no one

    To talk to, to share my thoughts and feelings with
    Its becoming more and more painful
    A smile from my face now brings so much pain
    Inside of me that it cuts me up badly

    I feel that i should what i did in the past again
    But i still havent had the guts to do it yet.
    I feel so pathetic and lonely
    I hope i will cough my self to death coze thats

    How my life has been coughing none stop
    I really hope this will happen coze only then
    Would my life somewhat be complete..




    Friday, January 14, 2011, 12:50 AM

    Hey guess what its the middle of the month
    And yes you guessed it life has not change
    No matter how i try to change what i do
    It always end up like this

    I guess i shouldnt be bothered anymore
    Come what may it will still be pain
    Nothing can numb this feeling or make it feel better
    Im closing up again and i dont think id ever

    Be able to open up ever again
    Everytime it hurts more & more and there seem
    To have no end to it...
    I cant bare it any longer

    I wish some kinda sickness would befall me
    And kill me soon before i actually think of
    Doing it myself..
    I dont have anything to lose and everyone has

    Something to gain from it directly or indirectly
    Im such a failure and i dont think life is worth it anymore