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i can do science
but i cant do chemistry,
biology and physics.

i love black and white
and sometimes red.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2011, 9:30 PM

Even though i smile and look happy on the outside
From day to day, deep inside i feel empty
I do not know what is missing in my life ?
Coze all i feel is the emptiness within

My loneliness consumes me from the inside
My emptiness doesnt seem to ever be filled up
I go by day to day just wishing it will come to an end
And that 2mrw will be better but it only gets worst

I dont have anyone i could turn to
Neither do i have any one to speak to openly
And even if i do, i do not wish to burden their
Already hard lives with mine

I just wish one day i can find some happiness
That isint just temporary but forever
But i know my wishes will never be fullfilled
As my life was never filled with anything that i ever wished for

Monday, February 28, 2011, 12:03 PM

My day just suddenly took a turn for the worst...
But wats new right ??
My life has never been filled with happiness
Only bad things happening for the worst..

I dont really care wat happens anymore
Let it be then even if i die or something bad happens to me
It wouldnt matter coze no one would care or give a damn
I give up in trying to be gd and trying to change

This is the end.
This is where it stops..

10:54 AM

Knowing that they are talking behind your back
And nothing they say is gd and they are just
Out to embarrass you openly and
Theres nothing you can do to stop them

It hurts deep down and you keep it to yourself
And at the end of the day your kinda glad
That your all alone and that you keep
Telling yourself that you dont have to depend on anyone

But it also makes you feel lonely to a point that
You kinda wish some one will help you
And not expect anything in return
But thats just impossible

I have come to realise that my happiness can
Never be found in my everyday life
Maybe in the afterlife ?
I will never know

Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 2:45 AM

Days turns to weeks then months.
With each passing day it feels worst
This lonely feeling of when i look ard me
And find that im all alone with no one

To talk to, to share my thoughts and feelings with
Its becoming more and more painful
A smile from my face now brings so much pain
Inside of me that it cuts me up badly

I feel that i should what i did in the past again
But i still havent had the guts to do it yet.
I feel so pathetic and lonely
I hope i will cough my self to death coze thats

How my life has been coughing none stop
I really hope this will happen coze only then
Would my life somewhat be complete..

Friday, January 14, 2011, 12:50 AM

Hey guess what its the middle of the month
And yes you guessed it life has not change
No matter how i try to change what i do
It always end up like this

I guess i shouldnt be bothered anymore
Come what may it will still be pain
Nothing can numb this feeling or make it feel better
Im closing up again and i dont think id ever

Be able to open up ever again
Everytime it hurts more & more and there seem
To have no end to it...
I cant bare it any longer

I wish some kinda sickness would befall me
And kill me soon before i actually think of
Doing it myself..
I dont have anything to lose and everyone has

Something to gain from it directly or indirectly
Im such a failure and i dont think life is worth it anymore

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